Meatballs of Guilt

I am beginning to feel the guilt. Blogging should be my relaxation outlet, writing recipes should be cathartic. Little anecdotes should be FUN!

So should cooking.

Unless, (after the Hummingbird incident), one feels this irripressable urge to raise one's hand at Back-to-School night and volunteer to chair the BIGGEST FUNDRAISING EVENT at your daughters' elementary school.

Then cooking becomes less about fun, and more about guilt.

I'd like to blame the vodka. But it had been 1oz. And it had been 4 hours earlier.

So, I am now in charge of organizing a Pasta Supper for 700 people.

A Pasta Supper where the pasta is cooked the night before, slathered in cooking oil, and held overnight in a massive refrigerator in black garbage bags.

I am not Giada de Laurentiis, and yet, I cringe.

But apparently it is the "Night of the Yeeeeeeeear!!!!" And YES, I know it is for the kids. I love kids.

But I am still on the fence about cooked pasta in garbage bags.

But I do this for the kids.

And with this "pasta" (oy, Mama Leone is cringing), we serve "Meatballs". 3 per person. Frozen. From a big box shop.

Not my meatballs.

Here are my meatballs:

In a large, non-reactive bowl, mix together:

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 lb. ground veal (trust me)
1 slice white bread, soaked in 1/4 cup whole milk
1 large (or extra large) egg
1Tbl. Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs
1Tbl. (each) - fresh basil and fresh parsley
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon tomato paste
Splash of Worcestershire Sauce (optional, but my family loves it!)
Pinch of paprika
Sea Salt and Black Pepper (your discretion)

***SECRET WEAPON OF MOISTNESS***SEE BELOW***

In a saucepan, heat 2 Tbl. olive oil. and cook 3 cloves of garlic and 1 medium chopped red onion until soft, approximately 5 minutes. Add 1 teaspoon dried thyme and 1 teaspoon dried oregano to bloom the spices. Let cool. Add to bowl. Mix thoroughly, and roll into balls.

On a foil-lined, olive oil rubbed baking sheet, bake meatballs at 350 degrees for 15- 20 minutes, until slightly browned. They will not be cooked through. Add them to your red sauce and barely simmer, on low, for one hour.

Ladle over al dente (bagged, refrigerated) pasta.

Makes 9 - 12 meatballs, depending on size and patience of meatball maker.

The Hummingbird

I came home after a perfectly delectable day today - lunch with Mom and middle sister, bra shopping, and then a pit stop at Trader Joe's for organic raspberry jam and lemon curd with which to make a girlfriend's luncheon tart.

And as I was unloading the car,  a hummingbird flew into my house.

Now I know that in some obscure ancient culture this is a sign of good luck.

But I like to watch nature on TV. "Camping" to me is not having central A/C.

Remember, I was born on the island of Manhattan, not Galapagos.

So I flew around like a half-crazed banshee waving at it with a broom in order to gently persuade said bird to leave my house before it crapped all over my cream couches became dehydrated, as to not blacken my karma by killing the thing.

It would not leave.

Apparently my karma needs massaging.

Man Mountain sensed urgency in my voice, (or perhaps he felt a pull towards nature. After all, he IS from Northern Wisconsin. Or "Canada", as I like to call it), and came home.

His mere presence led the hummingbird to leave, going gently into the proverbial night.

Man Mountain is my hero.

But I still needed a cocktail.

It's 5pm somewhere. And it's close enough to 5pm here.

Here is my version of "A Hummingbird".  (Some call it a "Stoli-Doley".)

1 oz. (or 2 oz., depending on how big the hummingbird is) of Stolichnaya Vodka (or any vodka that comes in a non-plastic bottle. C'mon. There's gotta be standards.)

2 oz. Dole Pineapple Juice. Because I am a label whore when it comes to my pineapple juice.

Drink with a straw.

Feel your karma being refreshed.

Is there really blue food in this world?

Tom Colicchio says that there is no such thing as blue food.

Blueberries are purple, he says, and so are blue corn tortilla chips.

Well, I was at White Gate Farm recently, and Pauline said that she had blue potatoes. They looked like black, dusty things to me, but I really wanted to see if I could find something blue to prove Mister Know-It-All wrong.

So, I bought'em. Just to see.

I mean, Tom would never really KNOW I had proven that blue food existed.

(Yes, I talk about Tom Colicchio as if we are on a first name basis. I have that same issue with Ina. As in Garten. It used to be just "Martha" too, but I have had serious issues with her recipes, so she is now back to "Martha Stewart".)

So, yes Tom, I bought the blue potatoes.

And as much as I hate to admit it, you may be right.

These bad boys were tie-dye purple.

Purple Potato Bake

Cut potatoes into 2 inch pieces. 

Dose with olive oil, sea salt and black pepper. 

Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.

Eat like candy.

Or smother in ketchup (if you are Little Bitefuls. Or Man Mountain.)

Serve with this:

Beef Tenderloin

(Adapted from America's Test Kitchen)

Place beef tenderloin (that has been trimmed and tied) on a foil-covered, rimmed baking sheet, and let sit for 30 minutes at room temperature, lightly covered with plastic wrap.

 Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees. 

Discard plastic wrap and oil top and sides of tenderloin with vegetable oil. 

Cook for 30 minutes, until center reaches 115 - 120 degrees. 

Let sit for 20 minutes. Internal temperature will reach about 130 - 135 for gorgeous rare-medium-rare.

Enjoy with a deep, bold, spicy red wine!

Pica-wha? Peek-ah-dee-yo. Picadillo. And rice.

It takes a few dinners together before I foist picadillo on new friends. One, because it is a jumble to pronounce and two, because they always say, "Wow, that is so UNIQUE!" when I tell them what it is - basically meat and raisin stew. And we all know that "unique", when it comes to food and personal style, is the "kiss of death" phrase. 

But then they eat it. 

And then it is all over. 

Because once you've had it, (and my Grandma Iris' black beans and rice), that is all you'll want when you come over. 

And even though I'll suggest steak and twice-baked potatoes, you'll say, "Um.. how about that meat and raisin thing? And your Grandma's black beans?" 

So now you can make it yourself. 

And when you come over I can make something else - something else UNIQUE! I promise! 

Puerto Rican-style Picadillo 

This dish is like Puerto Rican Hamburger Helper (no disrespect, Nana). Both my Mom and my Grandma made delicious versions - my Mom adds cumin and no capers, Grandma Iris used tomato paste, and she was so old school that her green olives had PITS! I remember seeing them rim my Grandfather's plate. Neither of them used Worcestershire sauce. Only Grandma used sherry. But because I have been cooking this meal weekly for almost 12 years now, I have tweaked it to my family's tastes. 

Ingredients:

Olive Oil - 2 Tbl.

Manzanilla Olives - 15 small, chopped

Pimentos - 1 heaping Tbl., finely chopped

Capers - 1/2 Tbl.

Onions - 1 large yellow (Spanish), chopped

Garlic - 4 medium cloves, diced

Cubanelle Pepper - 1, seeded, de-membraned and diced - (Cubanelles are light green and long. Do not substitute green peppers.)

Recao, or Culantro - 1/4 cup - (This is an herb similar to cilantro, but with a milder flavor. Can be found in the fresh produce section of the Shop Rite in New London, but can be challenging to find for many, which is why I list it as optional.)

Sherry - 2 - 3 Tbl. - NOT "Cooking Sherry"- (The Taylor brand is inexpensive, and can be found in any liquor store. Cooking Sherry is sodium-filled and tastes like rubbing alcohol.)

Worcestershire Sauce - 2 Tbl. - preferably Lea & Perrins

Ground Beef - 2 lbs. (feeds my family, with leftovers for Man Mountain, or hungry twins)

Tomato Sauce - 8 oz. can - preferably Goya

Ground Coriander (McCormick makes Roasted Ground Coriander - even better!) - 1 tsp. (Note: Coriander is cilantro in seed form, but with a much milder, almost smokey, flavor.)

Onion Powder - 1 tsp.

Kosher Salt - 1.5 tsp.

Black Pepper - 1 tsp.

Cumin - 1 tsp. - (optional)

Brown Sugar - 1 tsp. - (optional)

Dried Thyme - 1 tsp. (optional)

Raisins - 1/4 cup - preferably Sun-Maid dark raisins
1 Bay Leaf, fresh or dried

Optional Condiments:

Fresh Cilantro

Tabasco

or

Apple Sauce (My kids' idea.)

Heat olive oil in large bottomed pan, on medium heat.

Add onions, olives, cubanelle pepper, garlic, pimento and capers, and recao, if you can find it. This is the making of a sofrito. Saute for 5 - 6 minutes until the ingredients have softened and melded together.

Pour in sherry and worcestershire sauce to deglaze the pan. Use a wooden spoon to scrape up any of those luscious brown bits. Allow alcohol in sherry to burn off, and sofrito to soften further, about 2 - 3 minutes.

Push the sofrito to the sides of the pan and crumble ground beef into the center of the pan.

Sprinkle ground coriander, onion powder, kosher salt, black pepper, and optional spices (cumin, brown sugar, and/or thyme) on the ground beef.

Cook ground beef until you see it browning well, approximately 5 minutes.

Add the can of tomato sauce.

Gently fold the sofrito and tomato sauce into the ground beef, and simmer, uncovered, for 5 minutes.

Add raisins. And Bay Leaf. (Note: I had to mince them when the twins were between the ages of 5 - 7 because they were horrified that they were eating meat and raisins mixed together. So, if you have picky eaters, mince the raisins, and call the whole thing a Sloppy "Juan"!)

Cover a simmer over low heat for about 5 - 6 minutes, until meat is no longer pink, raisins have plumped up a bit, and the sauce is thickened.

Serve over white rice, with fresh cilantro and Tabasco sauce liberally sprinkled over the top. Or not. 

And always eat with Grandma Iris' Black Beans (Will post later. I promise!)